Maybe something special happened on that day of many firsts. Though it’s not the first time we’ve celebrated Christmas without you, it’s the first time we spent that day with you not coming back anymore. It’s much more than a roller-coaster of emotions. If it needs to be put in words, I’d describe it as a gentle breeze passing through and playing with my hair. It does not strike like a thunder easily seen but its subtlety embraces you gradually until I realize that I am somehow sad. There will be no longer moments with you. No new memories will be created. It’s haunting because it’s much more than a nightmare. It’s reality.
I don’t try to forget you. I just try to move on. Create new memories not because I want to bury the sad but to realize how life is still beautiful. Even when all that surrounds me are all fleeting, they are still worth living for. Maybe there’s something special that happened on that Christmas day. It’s the day where the breeze embraced me and reminded me of you. It hurts a little but it made me see that there’s something wonderful in the midst of all the chaos life throws.