HARSHtag

harshtag

Nakasandal ang ulo sa bintana ng sasakyan habang tinitingnan ang tulo ng ulan na dumudulas at naguunahan, pati ang talsik ng tubig sa bahang daanan. Palihim na natutuwa sa pagkikita at sa pag pansin mo sa akin. Naiinis dahil napapangiti at napapamuni ‘pagkat nakisabay ang kilig sa panahong malamig. Nakalimutan ng panandalian ang pangakong pagkalimot sa’yo.

Natutunaw, natutunaw, natunaw na naman ako.

Daydreaming

Well, one day, the butterflies will all fly away
and the stress my stomach feels will be gone.
The sleepless nights will not be because of thinking of you,
and the dreamy mornings will just be for drinking coffee.
The humming birds, will be just birds
and the river of stars will be just stars.
And in the end, the song I’m about to sing will be cut
and now in daydreaming I need to wake up.

The day before the world ends

letter

The day before the world ends, I’ll probably be writing ‘thank you’ notes,  ‘sorry’ notes, and love letter. I’ll try to finish them and send them to its proper recipient so that before the world ends, their last letter would come from me and it will be a good memory in their afterlife.

I’ll say thanks to those people that helped me become me – my parents, girlfriends/sisters, mentors, and even those unwanted people in my life. Each of them contributed to my being and they deserve to be appreciated just before the world ends so they leave, at least, feeling important.

I’ll say sorry to the people I’ve hurt intentional or unintentionally. I have reasons to purposely/ not purposely hurt your feelings, so please forgive. And let’s move on before the world ends okay?

I’ll write a love letter to you. Finally, I will let you know how you always fill my stomach with uninvited butterflies every time I see you. I’ll let you know how you’re the one that makes me want to comb my messy hair and wear clothes other than loose shirt and jeans. I’ll write how every night you put a smile on my face before going to sleep and how I hate you for walking into my dreams making me giddy while sleeping. You’ll know that every time I see you, even only in my peripheral view, I’m satisfied. You’ll know that I really like you voice and you just remind me of the cheesy songs people listen to when they’re in love. Your laugh makes me smile because I can feel the sincere happiness overflowing. You’ll know how I imagine the future of us or the forever of us.

That love letter will contain all my reasons for liking you, for loving you, for appreciating you. You’ll see how much effort I put in that letter. I’ll probably use the best scented stationery there is, I’ll use the most expensive fountain pen, and I’ll write the most heart-warming words that you will ever read in your life just to let you know you’re special. And it probably won’t matter because the day after will be the day the world is going to end but I also don’t care.

Nah, it’s too cheesy and trying hard to be poetic. The world’s going to end. Before it does, I’ll probably be praying and tell everyone that I love them.

 

DIVIDER

 

 

We all were aware how the Mayan calendar told us that the world’s supposed to end last 21 December 2012. Well it’s already a year after.. and if ever finally, the world’s going to end tomorrow, today’s the right time to post this. haha.

The Day You Left, I Killed Shakespeare’s Poetry

The day you left, I killed Shakespeare’s poetry. I almost yelled Wherefore art thou, Romeo!except that your name wasn’t Romeo. I kept looking outside the window waiting for paper aeroplanes filled with secret love letters and songs to knock on my glass window. I kept listening to the hush of the mango tree in front hoping that you would, somehow, climb and tell me once more that Juliet is the sun except that my name wasn’t Juliet. But it won’t happen anymore. Now, birds singing became as annoying as hearing your name even when nobody even mouthed it.

I tried looking for you but you were so hidden in your own enigma. Your whole being were hidden in the deep that I felt embarrassed for the Pacific Ocean and its shallowness. The result of continuously searching for you would be a foregone conclusion that I would never ever find you, not in the near future, not even in the furthest future because I have realized that future wasn’t going to happen for us. How it gave this fragile heart an attack and stopped its beating turning it into flat lines like it was before.

You did not apologize, you only said goodbye through a poem. I tried to get rid of your smell from my memory and so I started sniffing scents of lovely flowers and picture images of angels to replace what you have instilled in my mind. I tried walking the same path covered with dried leaves alone, sitting on the park bench alone, eating vanilla-flavored ice cream alone, and walking home alone to familiarize doing things, of course, alone. Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow,That I shall say good night till it be morrow. And the night came but it was not a fine day.

I tried forgetting how your eyelashes look like. How it’s like a curtain that when opened gave me a glimpse of the sun through your dark brown eyes. I tried not remembering how your hands are like dancing trees when you play your guitar and that serious look on your face while strumming the strings, it’s the only thing that wrinkles my nose. And I tried forgetting how your voice, it sounded like the waves crashing to the shore – full yet calm.

It wasn’t really your fault. Maybe we were just a pair of star-cross’d lovers who took their life. You disappeared and so I was forced to disappear. Maybe it was your fault. You became in love with love but no one can blame you for that. Maybe it was our fault. We became infatuated with this love and didn’t see that it was only a fool’s paradise. Maybe it was my fault. I don’t know why.

But Maybe, it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. You did not return. Because you did not even leave. And I was just waiting.

charmainesque

Inspired by Thought Catalog’s The Day You Left, I Filled My Chest With Poetry

Date A Girl Who Writes

You’ll never die when you date a girl who writes for you will always be alive in her stories..

Thought Catalog

Date a girl who writes. Date a girl who understands both the simplicity and the depth of the written word. Date a girl who lists one of her heroes as a philosopher or poet. Date a girl who writes because she is a born storyteller.

You’ll learn that the only way she knows what she’s thinking or feeling is through writing. She’ll be articulate and poetic, without the slightest ego.

The girl who writes will have a collection of lists at any given time, not only to-do lists, but life lists; a bucket list, a list of her favorite things, a list of quotes that inspire her.

As a writer she will be a natural listener. So tell her stories. You will begin to recognize what’s important to her or what she wonders about through her writing. She finds writing the only way to explore some of life’s greatest mysteries…

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First Love

You never forget your first love.

Tagline from one of my favorite feel-good movie Flipped.

Everybody clearly remember their first love and the feeling they felt during those moments.

I hope everyone would realize that God loved us first and we are His first love. Therefore, there’s no way that He would ever forget us.

A Quote That Will Completely Change The Way You Think About Love

While some people need ‘love’ because they want to really feel it. I think they’re confused beings. We should love not just because we want to be loved in return. We love because we are sure that we, first, love ourselves and so we can give love -at its finest- to others. We love ourselves, meaning, even when heartache comes, we know and are sure of that we’re still complete. And we’re not afraid that nothing would be left to ourselves because we know, for a fact, that we first loved ourselves. -C

Thought Catalog

Recently I came across a love quote and up until this day I’m still quite surprised by how much it has made me reflect on the way I see love and how I love. The quote comes from a 1996 film called Dream for an Insomniac:

QuoteCatalog32

This quote grips me, because it’s antithetical to what I’d previously believed in. I had always advised my girlfriends, NEVER invest more than what you think the other party is putting in: “Don’t like/love him more than he likes/loves you.” Because it’s not safe for your heart. Because you might get hurt, you might fall too deep, you might lose control of your own emotions and thoughts. Because he might not be worth it after all.

But I was wrong. Now I know otherwise.

Love should be mad, reckless and dangerous. It ought to be! It should require your every ounce of courage…

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Truth Thursdays: When It Was Over

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when it was over

I just feel like writing about something personal. 🙂
I don’t want to create issues whatsoever so I’ll just call you Z.

Dear Z,
There might only be 0.01% chance of you stumbling upon this post but in case you did, haha! I don’t care, whatever.

Should I thank you? Maybe I should, for letting me feel something I haven’t experienced before.
We were both young back then, but i felt happy (and giddy) every time we talked(well, texted) on the phone every night until we both fell asleep. Those nights felt special for me and I think it also was for you. Thanks for trusting me some of your secrets and thanks for keeping some of mine. This is not a ‘longing for the past’ kind of post. This is just a ‘thanks-but-no-thanks’ post.

For months, I really felt special and loved by someone special other than a family. Even when we’re both awkward in person, I thought that even the awkwardness was something that only you and I understood. haha. (I feel icky writing this but yolo.) We were young and our feelings were ‘illegal’ (I mean, shhhhh, it’s a secret, only few people knew) We did not even dated, we just understood each other and it felt perfectly fine, so good that I thought you might be ‘the one’. It was really like a fairytale.. until the witch came.

Our ‘witch’ was not ordinary.. I don’t even know who/what our ‘witch’ was. Our fairytale (well, at least my fairytale) ended when you disappeared.. Literally! You! Why you did not even explain! It’s funny how you made yourself a magician with your perfect disappearing act. Even up to now, I’m still thinking why you left (literally) without any explanation. And all you left was your goodbye poem for me. Well, I did appreciate that poem. You made goodbyes a little bit sweeter. But since you’re the first that I really liked, it sucks to be reading a goodbye poem from you.

I was hurt and hated you for some time and since it was not known, I kept it all in me (you! why you hurt me? haha) But I never thought that you were my version of “the one that got away”. I was thinking that I was the one who got away but the author of my love story made it clear that we were really not meant to be. But I still want to thank you for having a brief part in my life. I am sure that I learned something, you learned something(I hope), and it was a nice, short ‘moment’. I knew I grew from that experience. I knew God has something and someone better. And I’m thankful that you did not publicly confess your ‘love’ or whatever feeling you have in there at that moment. If ever you did, shucks, many wrong things could have been made. So yeah, thanks.

I find this a little bit childish but you know, some things just needs to be said no matter how childish it might be. This isn’t even a goodbye. Our goodbye happened long ago. Let’s just look at it as a “throwback” thing.

We’re still awkward with each other but we both moved on.(duh, it was so 2009?) I’m happy, you happy, we happy!

I knew we won’t stop loving. Our Creator made us to love.

P.S.
You’re not really the one that got away. Neither was I.

-C

Cold (Four Seasons)

Like spring, flowers bloom from the depths of my being.

Passing freely the message of my heart’s hello for it is abundant.

Hoping that you’ll accept the bouquet with warmness and

display it in a vase that will water it like a returned love.

Like summer, the brightness of your love’s rays will return to me and be felt.

No questions, no doubts just feeling the warmth it exerts.

And i’ll bring it anywhere, I promise. Even in sleep, this summer love will glow.

Like fall, the unanswered emotion will not be raked.

It will just pile up, covering the road that will make us lost.

The path leading to each other’s answer will not be seen,

not until everything has no more use.

Then at last, it will be like winter.

You and me, we will be longing for the blooming of spring,

the warmth of summer, and the covered path of fall.

But it will be like what winter is.

For us, it will just be cold.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

based on this post by another great blogger:

http://sethsnap.com/2013/01/23/your-story-cold/