Truth Thursdays: To Answer Your Question

This question must be answered, so yeah.

This has been a question to myself over the years and the answers vary depending on the situation. So here’s the question: Why am I doing what I am doing?

A. Because I have to do it. Not because I want to do it but because it must be done. No more and no less.

B. Because I want to do it. Enough said.

C. I don’t know. Maybe because I’ve made a bad decision and the consequence is that I do what the consequence requires me to do.

D. I don’t know. Maybe because I just want to try doing it.

E. I don’t really want to do it but it’s for the better. And not doing it would just cause regrets in the future and I don’t want to experience it.

F. For myself. I have my own brain and I make my own decisions. I don’t do it for the love of you or whatever and whatnot but for myself.

G. To piss you off

H. To show the world that I can do it.

I. To answer the question why am I doing what I am doing.

Maybe my sanity is keeping me from answering questions. Or maybe I just don’t know the answer. But whatever, questions still keep on coming, and I know I have to keep on answering…. or maybe not really.

June, alone.

You don’t know how rain feels in June.
How it feels gloomy when gray clouds start to cover the clear skies.
You don’t hear how thunder reacts after lightning passes through the heavens.
You don’t see how the children play in the rain and how happy they are holding each others’ hands while singing and laughing.
You don’t smell the scent of the grass covered with raindrops.
You don’t touch them.
You don’t know.
Because you’re not here.

photography rant

Photography class is one of my favorite class this semester cause it’s my stress reliever for all shizz of other subjects. I’m doing well in that class but I’m doomed. I have nothing to pass tomorrow. I forgot  that tomorrow’s the last day for submitting the final individual project. Theme: Architecture. I am so doomed. What I really, super, mega, ultra need right now is a MIRACLE.

Yeah, I need a miracle right now. And some comforting words.. and a hug.. and an ice cream.. or a teddy bear.. or a dog(I don’t/won’t eat a dog).. and a photo.

Since, I won’t be able to produce two photos right now. I’ll just think YOLO.

To the old man, I’m sorry

I was walking and imagining. Imagining random things so random I forgot what I was thinking. Then this man, old man actually, limping in front of me with his rugged clothes on and a very old cap and his torn bag on his shoulders.

I heard something dropped. It was his box end wrench. I thought he was going to pick it up but he didn’t. I realized he didn’t knew that it fell. I should pick it then but I didn’t. He continued on walking. I continued on walking too. I have seen the rest of the tools inside his bag. I knew then, maybe he’s a carpenter or a mechanic of whatever. We both continued on walking. What have I done?

Each step away from that wrench, I felt the guilt. What if he doesn’t have enough money to buy another wrench? What if that wrench wasn’t his after all? What if the food for his family depended on that wrench? But I continued walking. I didn’t do anything, not even tried to call his attention and tell him that his wrench fell.
what have I done?

Now I’m having regrets because I was not able to do such a simple act of help. But I cannot turn back time anymore. So manong (old man) I’m very sorry. I am really sorry. I don’t know but if ever I see you again,I wish to help you on that moment.

Cold (Four Seasons)

Like spring, flowers bloom from the depths of my being.

Passing freely the message of my heart’s hello for it is abundant.

Hoping that you’ll accept the bouquet with warmness and

display it in a vase that will water it like a returned love.

Like summer, the brightness of your love’s rays will return to me and be felt.

No questions, no doubts just feeling the warmth it exerts.

And i’ll bring it anywhere, I promise. Even in sleep, this summer love will glow.

Like fall, the unanswered emotion will not be raked.

It will just pile up, covering the road that will make us lost.

The path leading to each other’s answer will not be seen,

not until everything has no more use.

Then at last, it will be like winter.

You and me, we will be longing for the blooming of spring,

the warmth of summer, and the covered path of fall.

But it will be like what winter is.

For us, it will just be cold.

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based on this post by another great blogger:

http://sethsnap.com/2013/01/23/your-story-cold/

Naisulat sa Isang Papel

Nakaupo akong mag-isa sa mesa, hinihintay ang aking kasama,
tumingin sa tabi at may nakitang papel, inusisa at binuksan at
ako’y nagulat sa aking natuklasan. Heto at ibabahagi ang kanyang nilalaman.

“Mahal kita, aalagaan kita ang palagi nilang sinasabi.
Hindi ko mawari, ito ba ay totoo o hindi.
Hanggang sa mapunta sa kababababaan,
pagmamahal, pagaalaga di mapatunayan.
Mapapaisip na lang, tunay ba o imahinasyon lang?
Ni hindi makalapit, hindi makapagsalita
paano magpapasya kung ako’y magtitiwala?
Pamilya raw ngunit walang pakialam.
Kaibigan raw ngunit di man lang alam ang pangalan.
“Hayaan mo na,” palaging naririnig
paano lalaban kung walang tumitindig,
tumatayo para sa iyo, ipagpapatuloy pa ba ang laban ko?
Mga magaling na nilalang, wari ko’y mga manghuhulang nakakabatid ng aking isipan.
Mga henyo na alam ang lahat ng nasa guni-guni,
parang palaging nakabantay kahit hindi.
Nasaan na ang pinagmamalaking pagpapakumbaba?
Nasaan na ang pag-aaruga?
Sa kalayuan lang ako’y pinagmamasdan
pero kung makapanghusga’y nasa malapitan.
Nangungunang humatol, nangungunang humusga,
nagungunang mag-isip ng hindi tama.
Sa kanilang pinapakita ang aba’y nalilito na,
dahil iba ang sinasabi ng labi sa kanilang ginagawa.
Nakakalungkot na ang mga taong pinagtiwalaan mo, may hangganan pala ang tiwala sa iyo.”

Nang matapos basahin, nalungkot ako
kaya umalis na lang at hindi na nahintay ang kaibigan ko.

tama ka

Ang magandang kalangitan

kapag tiningnan mula dito sa kalupaan

parang nais kong puntahan

hindi batid ang walang hanggang kalawakang

nilalanguyan ng mga bituin, araw at buwan.

 

Kung mangyayaring magiging mag-isa tayo,

tama ka, huwag mo nang pangaraping ako ay makasama.

Walang kahit maliit na porsyento na ikaw ang gusto ko.

Malulumbay hangga’t sa mamatay na lang sa lamig

– hindi ng walang limitasyong uniberso ng patlang sa paligid natin –

kundi ng limitasyong ikaw at ikaw lang ang kasama.

 

Kung sa iyong tingin, labis ang kalupitang ito,

hindi ba’t mas malupit kung may daya ang pag-ibig?

 

Kung pipiliin mong mapag-isa dyan sa kalawakan

at ako’y iyo lamang pagmamasdan dito sa lupa, hindi kita pipigilan.

Iya’y iyong desisyon, iyong magiging kalungkutan.

huwag lamang kalimutan at sabihing ika’y hindi ko binalaan.

 

Sa simula pa lang, batid mo na ang distansya
na kahit tayo ay magkaharap na, ikaw ay hindi kabilang sa aking planeta.

Sabi mo’y sigurado ka, ako ang hahanap hanapin, gugunitain.

Siguro nga ako ang nag-iisa mong bituin.

Pero kailangan mo nang magising.

Hindi kailangang manatiling mag-isa.

Ikaw ay bumaba

matutuklasan na ang langit mo pala ay nasa lupa.

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this is sort of a reply to this post: http://libidoatlikido.wordpress.com/2012/10/10/nauulit-ulit-din/

we’re not in any way connected, I just wanted to make a reply after reading his post.