when it was over
I just feel like writing about something personal. 🙂
I don’t want to create issues whatsoever so I’ll just call you Z.
There might only be 0.01% chance of you stumbling upon this post but in case you did, haha! I don’t care, whatever.
Should I thank you? Maybe I should, for letting me feel something I haven’t experienced before.
We were both young back then, but i felt happy (and giddy) every time we talked(well, texted) on the phone every night until we both fell asleep. Those nights felt special for me and I think it also was for you. Thanks for trusting me some of your secrets and thanks for keeping some of mine. This is not a ‘longing for the past’ kind of post. This is just a ‘thanks-but-no-thanks’ post.
For months, I really felt special and loved by someone special other than a family. Even when we’re both awkward in person, I thought that even the awkwardness was something that only you and I understood. haha. (I feel icky writing this but yolo.) We were young and our feelings were ‘illegal’ (I mean, shhhhh, it’s a secret, only few people knew) We did not even dated, we just understood each other and it felt perfectly fine, so good that I thought you might be ‘the one’. It was really like a fairytale.. until the witch came.
Our ‘witch’ was not ordinary.. I don’t even know who/what our ‘witch’ was. Our fairytale (well, at least my fairytale) ended when you disappeared.. Literally! You! Why you did not even explain! It’s funny how you made yourself a magician with your perfect disappearing act. Even up to now, I’m still thinking why you left (literally) without any explanation. And all you left was your goodbye poem for me. Well, I did appreciate that poem. You made goodbyes a little bit sweeter. But since you’re the first that I really liked, it sucks to be reading a goodbye poem from you.
I was hurt and hated you for some time and since it was not known, I kept it all in me (you! why you hurt me? haha) But I never thought that you were my version of “the one that got away”. I was thinking that I was the one who got away but the author of my love story made it clear that we were really not meant to be. But I still want to thank you for having a brief part in my life. I am sure that I learned something, you learned something(I hope), and it was a nice, short ‘moment’. I knew I grew from that experience. I knew God has something and someone better. And I’m thankful that you did not publicly confess your ‘love’ or whatever feeling you have in there at that moment. If ever you did, shucks, many wrong things could have been made. So yeah, thanks.
I find this a little bit childish but you know, some things just needs to be said no matter how childish it might be. This isn’t even a goodbye. Our goodbye happened long ago. Let’s just look at it as a “throwback” thing.
We’re still awkward with each other but we both moved on.(duh, it was so 2009?) I’m happy, you happy, we happy!
I knew we won’t stop loving. Our Creator made us to love.
You’re not really the one that got away. Neither was I.